The mat provides clarity in a gentle, loving way

July 20, 2010

I have been feeling ansty since I got back from my training class in Connecticut.  The training was amazing and I love my corporate job as a Project Manager, but visiting New York City after the class ended...makes me wonder...is it time for a change?  A big change?

Looking at other cities just for fun can't hurt, right?  I feel like I need about two more years to figure out what I want to do with this travel website I am building and a new city might help me gain clarity on that.  San Francisco is a possibility...Chicago?  Boston?  New York?  Can I handle the winter again?  Can I afford New York City?  How can I get to New York City?  Oh, how I love that city.

A friend of mine from a prior team and I go to lunch and he has a job opportunity for me.  I think about it for a couple days and decide to check it out.  Maybe this is the change I need?  Same company, same city, new skill set, a person that I enjoy and have worked with before.

I apply and start interviewing and in the middle of the process, I find out...the position will remain on the East Coast, so if I am offered the job and accept it, I would be moving to Connecticut?  For the first three seconds...I think..NO WAY!

My mind calms from the reaction and similar to being in yoga in an uncomfortable posture I consider...just consider the possibility.  I did enjoy being there for training.  I found a lovely yoga studio and a beautiful new Whole Foods, all in West Hartford.  And it is only two hours from New York City...the weekend visit possibilities are endless!

I go to yoga that night, there is a Restorative workshop I am taking.  Each month at Full Moon a different chakra is discussed in depth.  Tonight is the second chakra, the color is orange.  It is located below the navel and is associated with our creativity, the center of our creation, physical, spiritual, inspirational, our divine creative energy.  In the class, the instructor asks, "what do you desire, what you want to create, what do you want?". 

I go through the obvious...prosperity, a husband, a fun job, a healthy body, lot's of shoes, world peace, the ability to travel whenever and wherever I want.  

She keeps asking "what do you desire, what you want to create, what do you want?".

I move deeper into meditation as we settle into Supta Baddakonasana.

She says it again and again and again..."what do you desire, what you want to create, what do you want?"  The tone is almost matter of fact, to suggest that we already know the answer.  

And then I do.

Expansion...it comes like a whisper...expansion.  

I desire expansion, I want to create expansion, I want to expand.  

Connecticut...am I aligned with moving to Connecticut!  In the pose, I feel at ease with moving myself across the country, alone, to a state of four seasons, where I know noone...because I desire expansion...and there it is manifested in a most serendipitous manner.

I feel grateful to my journey on the mat for again and again it guides me to clarity in a gentle, loving way.  This is a big decision, yes, but I have no doubt in my mind that it's the right path for me.  Expansion...East Coast...Connecticut...and so another journey begins!

Namaste,

Jeni